I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
