when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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