i need an iv and a liver transplant
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
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She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
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We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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