my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
