Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
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I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
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We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize