why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
