I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
