Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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