yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
