her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
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I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
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I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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