I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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