Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
