We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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