Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
