You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
