I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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