very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
