Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
