i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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