Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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