I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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