Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
