you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
