Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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