wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
