You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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