we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
