Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
