my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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