week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
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