yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
