Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
