Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
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You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
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Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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