Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize