Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize
