thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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