I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
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