he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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