is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
The uberlube is also flammable
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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