if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
