thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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