is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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