fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
