She's JV to your varsity
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
