put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Help. Why am I so naked?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
