I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
