they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
