you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
