You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
