The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
drinking out of a sandbucket again
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
