So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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