I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
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It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
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You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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