She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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