i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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