what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize