one two three fourrrrnication!
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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