Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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