Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I have fence marks all over my body
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize