I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Randomize
