My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
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My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
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We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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