Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
it's like iHOP with fire
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
