she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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