it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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