we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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