You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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