giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
