I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
